I’m still in a very sad mode today =(
I called the secretariat of the induction courses this morning. And sadly, they given me no solution. Instead, she even end up saying this “Puan, semua orang ada masalah & tahu macam mana nak selesaikan. Takkan semata-mata sebab puan kursus ni kena tukar venue. Dan kami di sini hanya nak tahu samada puan nak pergi atau tak jer. Bukan tempat puan nak luahkan masalah”. Their statement makes me even sadder.
I don’t blame them for saying this to me. I understood what they feeling. They are only a secretariat. If I were at their shoes, I might say the same thing as they said to me. But, I’m thinking of how gov will do for this kind of situation in future. They were now encouraging mommies to breastfeed their babies, but they have forgotten to look into this kind of problem faced by those breastfeeding mommies.. I’m so sad & disappointed!
Now I know why a mother of a baby feels so upset if they have to be apart from their baby. It’s not that they upset of thinking of themselves have to be apart from the baby, but they thinking of the babies, whether they can survive if their mother wasn’t around or not. They were to small to understand all these.
Some of you might think on why I don't bring Aimee along? FYI, this time around, the courses will be held in some sort of camp or what so ever in a very rural area, which was very far from town. Due to that, I don’t have any choice to bring Aimee due to lodging problem. More over, the courses will be full time from early in the morning to midnight includes Saturday & Sunday.
So, as for now, I have no choice but to be gamble to attend the courses and praise to Allah that Aimee can survive. If suddenly in the middle of the courses she can’t, then I have no choice but to pull off.
Dear Aimee sayang,
So sorry because mama have to leave you this time. Be strong ya sayang.. Mama love you so much! But, mama has no choice. Mama have to go… This is for our own good in future.
-Your Mama who love you so much!-
p/s: it's been so long since I feel this sad =(